Saturday, 2 July 2016

7 Reasons You Get Frustrated in the Pursuit of Your Dreams

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Every man and woman in existence seeks for a certain level of expression. There is an innate thirst for fulfilment - to leave a legacy.

There are a endless number of people from ages past who filled this thirst while some didn't. In my part of the world, I have come across a lot of persons with dreams and burning passion like myself.

Some are getting it right and blazing the trail while some are still struggling to find their feet.

To the latter, every effort seem to be an attempt in futility. It seems they count more defeat than victories. It's an endless cycle of frustration.

Based on my observation and research, I came up with some reasons that can make you experience ceaseless frustrations in the pursuit of your dreams.

It's not an absolute list but I believe this will help someone who reads this post.

#1. It's not your dream.

Some persons in life are actually pursuing someone else's dream. They are on course towards the vision of another. They are trying to be like someone else. The motivation is primarily external. The drive does not have an intrinsic source.

Now, I know it's possible for someone to inspire you. There's a possibility that you can use the vision of another as a reference point. But it becomes yours when you internalise and personalise it.

You have decided to take ownership and build something of your own out of it. You are self driven and self motivated. It moved from just an inspiration to a personal conviction.

You are the one who is taking the initiative. You are fully intoxicated with what you stand for.

Even when you hit hard obstacles and it feels like it's time to give up, the inner source of your momentum propels you to victory.

Hence, it has never been about your father, mother or friends. You are not trying to please anyone. You are only driven by the cry of your spirit to fulfill destiny.

When you anchor your dreams on people, you will be disappointed - especially when you don't get the response and results they are getting.

Never try to be like someone else or to anchor your destiny on the descriptions and prescriptions of another man.

#2. You are in a haste.

"Beware of endeavouring to become a great man in a hurry. One such attempt in 10,000 may succeed. These are fearful odds." - Benjamin Disreali

Anything of great value is developed with time. King Solomon of the Bible wrote that "There is time for everything under the sun...Time to sow and time to harvest."

It's only a short sighted person who would even think they have sown enough. Do you think you have sown enough? Can you ever have enough sowing? Do you think you are ready to handle greatness? Do you have the character needed to sustain greatness?

The very sign that you are in a hurry shows you are not ready. It's called the discipline of persistence.

Napoleon Hill said "persistence is to the character of a man as carbon is to steel."

I have been doing an understudy of top persons that I admire their works in various Industries. I discovered they had all put in at least 10 years of consistent hard work and value.

When you have a shallow understanding of times and season, the discipline of delay gratification and self denial, you will wallow long in frustration.

Long fellow popular quote says:

"Those heights by great men, won and kept, were not achieved by sudden flight. But they, while their companion slept, were toiling upward in the night."

I looked up for quotes and I found another interesting one by Brian Tracy. He said "Your success in life depends more on the person you become than on the things you do and acquire."

There is a person you are suppose to become. There is a diamond in you that needs to be polished to the surface. There is a gold in you that needs to be burned to the surface. Don't be in a haste.

#3. Unmatched Competence

Sometimes, it's not about the vision. The issue is that you are not growing in your capacity to meet up with the vision.

This is a sign - when you do not know where to go and what to do to make things better.

Sam Adeyemi, senior pastor of Daystar Christian Center Lagos Nigeria said "wherever you find a person who has developed the capacity...that person becomes a magnet." 

The truth is that whatever you don't know, you don't know. You can pretend to know but it won't match up with the quality of results you produce.

Are you truly committed to building competence/capacity? 

Be committed to serious practice. That's where the mastery will spring out from.

Get exposed. How much do you dedicate to your own self education? This is not about University, College or Medical school. This is about the school of life.

Whatever brought you to where you are, won't take you to your desired end. Things are changing and somethings you might be holding unto are becoming obsolete.

How much do you invest in yourself? I suggest you use what is called the "3 percent formula." It says you should use 3% of your income to invest in your personal education every month.

Talent is overrated. You will have to raise the bar. If you are doing what the average person can do, you will get an average result, and belong to the league of mediocres. Resolute to be a lifelong student in the school of life.

4. You don't seek for help.

This is an extrapolation of the last point. You see, I believe so much in the principles of the Bible. Jesus the Christ said "Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened unto you."

I discovered a lot of persons who get all grumpy and what to give up never really ask people for help. Actually, they are asking and seeking for the wrong things.

Meet people and ask questions. Kop kopmeyer said "learn from the experts. You will never live long enough to learn all for yourself."

Permit to share another of Brain Tracy's quote. He said "All the answers have been found. All the routes to success have been discovered. Everything that you need to learn to move to the top of your field has already been learned by hundreds and even thousands of other people. And if you ask them for advice they will give it to you."

#5. You seek for people's approval.

This one gives me great concern because people whose childhood were filled with criticisms fall into this category. They have this constant fear of rejection.

In seeking people's approval, some people want a pat on their back in other to establish their value. They want someone to say "that's a good idea" to validate their relevance.

This is risky because there are a lot of people who will turn you down and you might end up accepting the fact that you are not good enough.

A true visionary doesn't need that. You must learn to approve yourself and take action. Then the pat on the back comes afterward.

Now, I am not saying every idea is a good idea or that your idea won't be opposed. But to a visionary, a pat on the back is a reinforcement and even a ridicule is also a reinforcement.

The former is a positive reinforcement and the latter is a negative reinforcement. A visionary uses both as a stepping stone towards the ultimate goal. Are you a person of vision?

#6. You are unsure of victory.

If you are waiting to see signs of victory before you validate your championship, you are already one step of the league. That's not the way to go.

It all begins in the mind. It is very important you master this principle. If you can't see it, you can't have it. You have to believe you are victorious and a champion, then you will begin to see signs.

How does this work?

This is called "The law of attraction." 

Negative thoughts creates negative energy and attracts negative experiences. Positive thoughts creates positive energy and attracts positive experiences.

I have written about this law several times on this blog, and my social media channels. I have even had the privilege to speak to people about them on some platforms. But it seems only few people fully absorb this principle.

This is because very few apply it consistently. A principle is not something you try once and forget about it. It must be applied continuously for you to absorb the underlying results. You have to do this until it becomes a natural extension of your character.

There are some persons who find it easy to smile when under pressure. It didn't just happen it was consistent practice of the response to a pressing situation consciously or unconsciously that made it become a habit.

Develop a"victory mindset" because there are many things on your way that will look like defeat in disguise but with a "victory mindset" you win be able to discern and move through successfully even when it seems difficult.

#7. You see success as a means to validate yourself.

I have touched lightly on this on my fifth point. Some persons say "success is the best revenge." I believe this quote is in a context and should not be generalised. What happens if there's nothing to avenge?

The issue here is that you will begin to see achievements as a means to prove a point.

A lion doesn't hunt down other animals to prove that it is the king of the jungle. No! It actually hunts down those animals because it has the inner instinct that it is a king, and should express that.

Let me illustrate with the art of singing. 

Let's imagine a singer named Tara wins a Grammy award and she writes in her diary, "I won a Grammy today, so I am now a world class singer."

In this case, the possession of that award made her the world class singer.

What happens if she never get to win a Grammy all through her life? Does that mean she would never see herself as a world-class singer?

The best way to go would be: "I am a world class singer and I got a Grammy today."

What I want to show you is that the value is not on the award, it's actually on her.

In life, the value is not on the achievement, success or recognition, the value is on YOU.

This is because you have it embedded in you and it was properly expressed. This is what will keep you going when you can't afford the car of your choice or house of your choice, yet, without feeling intimated.

You will no longer play victim, you will take responsibility for your goals, dreams and vision.

If you noticed, all I mentioned above centers around YOU and the need for you to develop the right perspective in certain areas.  I implore you to troubleshoot with this post as a guideline.

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ike ani said...

i love no.5 the most. it is very important we all ignore the approval of people and never care as long as the plan at hand is a good one.

Abraham Ologundudu said...

Hello Ani! Great to have you here.

You are absolutely right. Seeking people's approval can make us loose our originality. As you said, a good plan should be the priority.